The Run

It was drizzling. The breeze caressed her face, eyelashes, eyelids, teasing them, coaxing them to open. It enveloped her in its cool softness. She liked sleeping better on such mornings. The birds had already started chirping. Their work for the day had begun. Their incessant, busy conversations were like music to her ears. Birds. She loved them. Not in cages, but in the trees, flying high in the endless blue sky. Someone had opened the windows. She did not remember who had done so, and when. She curled up snugly in her old, soft blanket. The dream had been beautiful. There had been so many colours, bubbles, butterflies, bees... was it a garden? Maybe the woods she was so used to wandering into in her dreams. It had been different this time.

The dream had become a routine... the tall trees, approaching darkness, a feeble attempt to run away from it... she was beautiful in her dreams... painfully so. The flaws, blemishes vanished... she was fairer, her hair longer, midnight blue. But her soul was darker, the pain magnified... had she traded the peace she had possessed for the beauty which had started haunting her very being? Could she run away from herself? From the voices screaming in her head, jeering at her, sharp arrows that pierced through her heart? She ran as fast as she could. She had to. She did not know why. A smile spread across her face. Her eyes shone brighter than ever… deep brown, warm in moonlight. The stars shone bright... jewels she wished to possess, and adorn her hair, slender neck with. But what would she have to trade for it? She had to find out. But for now, she had to run. She had spotted the small, growing spec of brightness.

Eos.

Would she take her in her arms and save her soul? She had to plead with her. She had to reach first, beyond the horizon. She could not. Ever. Darkness engulfed her before dawn. It pulled her down into a deep abyss from which there was not a way out. And then she would wake up, sweating, an irrational, terrible fear gnawing at her heart.

The cool fingers slid up her arms.

'What are you thinking?' he asked.

She jolted back to her hazy senses. She wondered why he always asked the same question.

'Nothing', she said.

'A 'blah' moment?' he asked, laughing.

She nodded, smiling. That was the way they talked. She rested her head on his shoulder. He was tall... and strong. She liked it. She liked the way he smelt… earthy, masculine. Giggles.

‘This alcohol's getting to my head.’

'I know', he laughed.

'You love me?' he asked.

She looked into his eyes. They were strange eyes, Jet black. How could she tell him whether she loved him? Once upon a time she'd thought she'd loved someone. Now, she did not know what love meant.

'Will you kill me if I say a no?'

'My madness does not permit me self annihilation'.

Lost again... She loved drinking with a silent companion, amidst nature. They stared at the limitless sky. Ideas, relationships, people... they talked about them all. No pretenses or lies interrupted this ablution and redressing of the drunken senses.

She got up, and ran. She was back in the dream. Thorns scratched her legs and arms. She kept running, still.

The urge was too strong. She could not stop herself even when she wanted to.  He called out her name. He was faster than her.

'Where do you think you are you going?'

'I don't know'.

He cupped her face with his long fingers and said, 'Listen to me, i know what you want and it’s not in there.’

'How do you know?' she asked.

‘Trust me. I know.’

'I still want to see.'

 He picked her up in his arms. She stared into his eyes. He drew her face closer to his and breathed her smell in, his lips touching her soft neck. A tremor of ecstatic pleasure ran down her spine.

'Put me down'.

He did. She swayed on her feet and tripped in his arms. The rustling sound of leaves pulled them out of the trance they had slipped into. They had never seen such big, wild animals.

'Herbivorous.'

'Big nevertheless.’

The shrill call of a peacock jarred their nerves.

'Run with me.’

'Yes.’

'Will you save me tonight?'

‘I will.'

Dusk approached... so did darkness... swift, stealthy. He took her hand in his and started moving. She turned back and smiled.

‘Let’s go.’

The dream stared back at her, ready to chase. She laughed, squeezed his hand and looked ahead, ready to run. She knew, she would be faster this time.